Ants In My Pants
OK, not so much my pants, exactly, but it's hard to make anything rhyme with 'kitchen working surface'.
They are everywhere, the devilish little movable inkspots.
I've tried all traditional methods of ant obliteration - stamping on them, squishing them with kitchen roll and screaming: "GET THE HELL OUT MY HOUSE YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!" at the top of my voice. All to little or no avail.
(incidentally,why is it things are always to NO avail. When was the last time you heard someone say "the stamping on them was to HUGE avail"?)
But the ants are wisening up. No sooner than I slowly crook my head around the kitchen door when one ant spies me and sends out secret ant messages to his fourteen thousand friends. "The ant serial killer is upon us" they squeak in an anty squeaky way, and they scatter like a bag of dropped marbles.
It's an ongoing battle - a little like Inspector Clouseau and Kato. You can guess who's who here.
I fear the armies are gathering, their force is strong. It;s like Zulu, only with ants. Where's Michael Caine when I bloody need him?
It's a waiting game...
All ant-obliteration tips gratefully received.
They are everywhere, the devilish little movable inkspots.
I've tried all traditional methods of ant obliteration - stamping on them, squishing them with kitchen roll and screaming: "GET THE HELL OUT MY HOUSE YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!" at the top of my voice. All to little or no avail.
(incidentally,why is it things are always to NO avail. When was the last time you heard someone say "the stamping on them was to HUGE avail"?)
But the ants are wisening up. No sooner than I slowly crook my head around the kitchen door when one ant spies me and sends out secret ant messages to his fourteen thousand friends. "The ant serial killer is upon us" they squeak in an anty squeaky way, and they scatter like a bag of dropped marbles.
It's an ongoing battle - a little like Inspector Clouseau and Kato. You can guess who's who here.
I fear the armies are gathering, their force is strong. It;s like Zulu, only with ants. Where's Michael Caine when I bloody need him?
It's a waiting game...
All ant-obliteration tips gratefully received.
posted by St8rk at
8:28 pm
2 Comments:
You need to be elected god, as per your last post. Then you can smite them. That would work.
By
eclectech, at 12:45 am
Oh, don't you worry, ants will be one of the first againt the wall.
Mind you, it would have to be a white wall - otherwise I'd never see them!
By
St8rk, at 9:03 am
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